Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How much of lounge pianists playing is from repertoire, and how much is improvised?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When was you wife swapping fantasy started?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

The Roman Empire at the time of Christ kept meticulous records. Why then, is there no record of the trial of Jesus?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What makes someone feel "rich enough" in different societies?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What happens when you need emergency surgery in countries with universal healthcare vs the US?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How would you advertise if you wanted to be a "tour guide" who can take you through the dark web while warning you what not to look at and not to click on?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Who is the most trusted person in your life, and do they have the same trust on you?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I see through liars

How can I stop overthinking and take action more quickly?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why are German films often so formulaic even though Germany is a European culture? I love them but they follow formula very closely like Hollywood. What are the best German films?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What should you answer when someone says to you in French, "au plaisir de vous revoir"?

I have a reading level above third grade

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Can you imagine how nervous Kamala Harris must be knowing that in couple of hours she needs to face master debater Donald Trump?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why can’t conservatives accept the fact that they are stupid?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What are LGBT+ people tired of hearing?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How do you know when your skirt is too short?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”